Sunday, June 30, 2013

when grumbling turns to squealing

On Monday, the day I learned about Chevron, I decided to go out for a short run following my WOD at the gym.

Um.  It sucked.  Totally.  Like I was thinking 'what was I thinking?!'  It was my first run since an awful (personally, for me) 5K on Saturday, June 15th.  I needed a walk break about 0.30 miles in; I bartered and bargained with myself to get to 0.50 before actually taking the break.  I then ran/walked in 0.25 mile increments for approximately 2 minutes before swapping to 0.10 mile increments.  I finished 1 mile in front of my house.  In just over 12 minutes (I originally thought it was 11 minutes but checked for this post).  I was mentally disgusted, physically exhausted (it was one mile?!) and emotionally drained and discouraged.

It made me think I needed to start over with run/walk intervals and a Couch to 5K program.  Even though I didn't really want to have to start over that far back.

But I decided I would.  And, I became okay and comfortable with that idea.  No longer feeling like a complete bum for letting my running fitness go.  Accepting it for what it was and getting excited at the idea of building back to where I was in the immediate months following Cowtown (I ran the half on February 24th).

My original thoughts (and post) were not as negative as I actually ended up feeling about it.  I got pretty grumpy about it, actually.

I sent a text to Ashley a bit after that stinky mile, totally griping and grumbling and questioning ever running again (I was slightly dramatic) and she said 'slow down!' and not to try and go at it so fast (not that my post-Cowtown pace was that fast but it was fast for me, inching down to 9:23 minute miles).  She basically told me that I was sabotaging the run by trying to hold a too-fast-for-me-right-now pace and only setting myself up for frustration, discouragement and possibly failure in the future.  I grumpily agreed.

So, on Wednesday, I decided to plug my earbuds in, go out for one loop around my extended block and not look at my watch at any time during the jog.  I told myself to go out as slow as I needed to get make the loop without walk breaks but gave myself permission to do so if I really felt it was the difference in starting over and building base mileage back up and quitting completely.

I made the loop.  No walk breaks.  Felt really good and probably could have gone a bit more as far as distance.  When I paused my Garmin, I didn't peek.  I wanted to continue to enjoy the moment.  I felt good.  Strong.  Comfortable.  So comfortable, in fact, that I knew that I had to have just ran about 1.5 miles in about 18-20 minutes and I was okay with that.  I didn't want to ruin it by looking at the watch, sometimes my Garmin tells me 'Wow.  That was slow.' and I didn't feel like engaging with it.  You know, bantering back and forth with 'no big deal!  You said 'go out slow, take your time!' and 'seriously.  You didn't mean that.  This time really stinks!'  I'm not the only one who does that, right?!  Argues with a Garmin?  Sometimes Mr. G can be really nice and encouraging; other times, he's somewhat a turd.

About 20 minutes later, I checked in with Mr. G to see what he had to say.  And, squealed with glee.  I couldn't believe that this (below) felt so comfortable!  I was stoked!  It's the little things, isn't it?!


This completely made my night.  I immediately went from contentment to excitement.  And, looking forward to my next run!

1 comment:

  1. Hooray! Your friend Ashley gives great advice, and I need to listen to it as well. I get so caught up in what others can do and what I used to be able to do that it makes me hate running. We can accomplish so much more when we let our bodies do what they can do, and we'd be without those feelings of disappointment and frustration! Can you tell I'm totally talking to myself here?? Haha! Way to go on a great pace!!!

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